Runes 202 - Bind Runes - Letting go of Anger

We all get angry.  We all get angry over silly stuff.  But, sometimes, when people we are close to do or say things that hurt our feelings, I mean really hurt our feelings, how do we manage the anger that builds out of that?  Although anger doesn't help anything and other people's choices are out of our control, after we acknowledge that we are hurt, the next emotion in the process tends to be anger.

I wanted to know how we can get past the anger without acting on it, because acting on anger can have a snowball effect on the situation, when the best approach is to diffuse it and reduce the power we are so easily willing to give to anger.  So, I turned to the Runes for guidance on how to manage this part of the healing; the Runes and I had quite a dialogue before this draw felt manageable. 

Twice they gave me Laguz - the water Rune - the idea of going with the flow, which we cannot do when we are hurt and angry.  We will get there, but not yet.  Given this, I assured the Runes that they needed to take a step back.  That is when they gave me what I needed - Isa, Gebo, and Ansuz.  I combined these three into a bind Rune and drew it on a piece of paper so that the next time I am hurt and angered by someone close to me, I can carry it with me as a reminder of how to get past it.

Each Rune helps to dispel the anger in its own way and each one builds on the other.  Putting them together in a bind Rune reinforces their power and the course we need to take to let go of the anger.

Isa is very important as the first Rune.  The ice Rune is about stillness and caution, reminding us to take time to reflect on the situation and examine our feelings.  This is sage advice, because lashing out when we're angry is not the best approach to dealing with things.  Isa recommends, instead, that we pause, consider, plan, and even organize our thoughts and feelings.  Look at the big picture, for the situation clearly includes more than you and the person with whom you're in conflict.  This will also help us realize what is in our control and what is not.  We need to let go of the latter.

Gebo reminds us that not all gifts come in neatly wrapped packages with a bow on top.  In a way, Hagalaz comes to mind.  Things start out bad - we are hurt - but as we deal with the fall out of the bad situation, things will get better.  What distinguishes this from a truly "Hagalaz situation" is that, as we reflect and think about what has happened, we will find a gift within it.  My first thought is that one gift may be realizing our own strength or abilities, by simply taking the time to reflect and consider the entire conflict instead of allowing our anger to jump into the middle of it.  Through this, we will be able to forgive, apologize, and/or clarify, which may be a gift to the other person.

This is where the final Rune comes into play.  Ansuz gives us the next step in approaching our anger.  Once we have it under control and have reflected on it, we know how to communicate going forward and, sometimes, that communication is to remain silent at least until the time is right when we can have a civil dialogue with the goal of resolution.  That is when it becomes about sharing or gaining wisdom (another gift).  What is important to notice here is that there is no indication that we should seek revenge or stand up and defend ourselves.  The message seems clear - there is no need for that.  That would serve only to steep the situation in more anger and likely make things worse, whereas contemplation calms and gives perspective through consideration.

At some point, defending ourselves may become necessary, but for now, maybe it is time for Laguz and just letting it wash over us.  I understand now why the Runes showed it to me when I first posed the question.  It is the ultimate answer - don't let it get to you - but I needed to follow the path to get there.